I watched as a rigger did a rope scene. Without any rope. I don’t think it was meant to be a scene, it was a general demonstration of how a rope scene could be. But I swear I could see the rope that wasn’t there. And I’m pretty sure the others in class did too, since the comment afterwards of “ you could’ve heard a pin drop..” summed that moment up perfectly.
I observed how the rigger/top intentionally stepped into the bunny’s energy field, (into his personal space and face). While the bottom accepted this intrusion, the top’s energy flowed around the bunny, filling the field. The top then connected by placing his hand in contact with the bunny’s back, holding him in place, who accepted this without resistance and the top continued describing a potential scene while enacting out the major points around the bunny. I noticed how the top never let go of his connection with the bunny, a hand was always in contact somewhere on the body. The bunny himself was focused on the top, held in place and manipulated as need, with no resistance or doubt. and a tension began to build in the space these two had created. This tension bubble grew and filled, washing over us in the room. I wondered at what the bunny was feeling in the centre of this bubble, he seemed so calm. The top, on the other hand, had become more focused, speaking with even more clarity and authority than before.
And then it came to an end. The top maintained control over the “scene” as well as the room, as the energy was gently released back to normal, allowing everyone to take breath once more.
A primary reason for me entering the BDSM environment is to learn about energy exchange, for my own personal development and self growth as the best of myself that I can be.
As I understand it, power exchange is about the consensual giving and and taking of energy in a continuous dynamic, i.e. an exchange. It brings the yin yang symbol to mind.
The scene described earlier had no sexual contact, both participants were fully clothed and yet the tension that was created could be felt. Goodness knows how the bunny felt standing in the top’s field (that would be a different story). While the top had been talking to us about what he was doing, his focus had been entirely on the bunny.
The thing is (for me), is that this demonstration went beyond rope. It was the first time I could see the energy exchange from behind a top’s point of view. And the skills and advice we observed that evening can most likely be applied elsewhere other than a rope environment:
Setting the intention…opens the doorway to the flow
Establishing the connection…locks in the path
Maintaining the tension…holds the flow.
As a bottom, this helps remind me how I can perhaps contribute towards the scene with my top. It’s not just a case of being open. An exchange goes both ways. as I accept my top’s energy, I return it thereby helping to establish the loop of flow.
I find the concept of TPE intriguing. The fact that one is willing to open up to receive another – to fill your being with themself – must rely on complete and utter trust from both parties. There can be no hesitation on either part for the exchange to be allowed.
At a different lesson, I watched this same rigger move and flow with the rope while he tied his bunny. It was beautiful to watch, like a graceful dance in motion while he weaved the energy where he needed it. His back and forward steps reminded me strongly of the tai chi ‘mabu’ and ‘shibu’ steps. Actually, the whole tai chi philosophy of energy flow – empty then full, full then empty, but always connected, always held in continuous dynamic motion.
With this workshop, I’ve realised that I definitely identify with being bottom, I find it easier to open myself to someone and holding space, rather than managing the various aspects to ensure the control. And I’ve gained a newfound respect for riggers and tops. Again.
So I’m curious as to whether it’s possible as a bottom to (intentionally) assist the top with the power exchange dynamic so that it doesn’t just fall to the top to be expected to hold the scene themself. If the bottom intentionally held the space for the flow directed by the top, how would that effect the tension created?
My suspicion is that both top and bottom would eventually reach a moment of clarity where they are in sync with the continuous dynamic, thereby creating a visible motion of yin and yang flow.
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